originally victoria — unfiltered blog

What a hard topic to talk about, expectations vs reality… there are so many hard lessons I have learned, the hard way might I add, from this topic. Life isn’t always rainbows and butterflies as we have all experienced. We often times have a view point and expectation of how we want things to go and how we want things to look, yet at the end of the day it turns out to be the complete opposite of what we had in mind. And I mean the compleeeettteeeee opposite okayyy. Yes, I highlighted WE because we often times wonder why it didn’t go the way we thought it would, but moral of the story it was in our way not God’s. Never question why something went the opposite way of how you imagined it to go, the Lord closes and shuts doors we have no idea He closes.

Growing up I was taught you don’t always get what you want, when you want it, how you want it, and where you want it. Sometimes, ya knowwww, when I had honor roll or did what my parents asked me to do without them asking me more than once, I would get a little treat lol. That didn’t mean every time I made my bed I got chocolate chip pancakes with whipped cream and sprinkles and chocolate milk for breakfast. At some point, as I matured it had to turn into responsibility to make my bed every morning. Did it feel different when I didn’t get rewarded for making my bed everyday? Of course, it felt more like a chore, but as I got older I understood that it benefited me. I understood that a made up bed helped me start my day out productive and have a sense of accomplishment. Okay, so why did I just make that a huge visual? Because I wanted to grab your attention. Listen, the big picture is that the more spiritually mature you become, the more responsibility you take on in the super natural. Responsibility as in many things like boundaries, what you put up with vs. what you don’t allow, when to speak and when to hold your tongue, how to speak in truth and love not out of flesh, your prayer life being main priority not a back-up, being able to live in unity as a church body, etc. You have to realize that not all the time will rewards be physically given you. Rewards on earth are temporary and materialistic, while rewards in heaven are eternal and spiritual. This doesn’t mean the Lord doesn’t love you or that you aren’t being seen. Trust me, the Lord and everyone else sees your fruits whether they’re good or bad. We can either smell the rotten fruit or the sweet freshness of fruit when you walk by. Either one will reveal itself on its own. Always stay aware of the fruit you bare! [Galatians 5:19-23]

As you deepen in spiritual maturity, the path often becomes narrower because it requires more from you—more surrender, more commitment, and more detachment from the distractions of the world. This narrowing can feel isolating at times, as you begin to move away from the things that once held your attention, whether that be material desires, shallow relationships, or fleeting pleasures. The deeper you go in your walk with Jesus, the less aligned you might feel with the “values” of the world around you that you once felt you aligned with. This is what my family and I call a habitation with Jesus. [In habitation, He is teaching us, prepping us, equipping us, and training us. He shows us how to see with His eyes, and hear with His ears. We will learn to be so quick with obedience because of the intimacy we have with Him which we gained in habitation. In habitation you are being strategic and making what God told you to do happen. Being Kingdom minded and understanding what God wants and learning about HIM. In visitation it’s just like a Christian that just got saved. They may feel his presence and think that felt so warming then go on about their day because of lack of knowledge in knowing the FULLNESS of Jesus. Which will come in due time! Yet, that is not consistent for growth. There’s no growth in a visitation mindset]. It can feel like you’re walking a path that fewer people understand, and that can indeed lead to feelings of loneliness. But in that loneliness, there’s also that intimacy with Jesus that grows. As the distractions fade, your relationship with Him becomes more personal and profound because you lean on Him like you never have before. You no longer rely on external validation or comforts; your strength and joy begin to come from Him alone. [Romans 5:5] In the silence and solitude, you can hear Him more clearly, [Pslam 62:5] and you realize that this isolation is not abandonment—it’s an invitation to draw closer to the One who knows you better than anyone else ever could. Yet, this path isn’t easy. Hints why the word says “Many are called, but few are chosen”. [Matthew 22:14] This path isn’t meant for everyone. The more you separate from the world and its desires, the more you confront your own flesh which are the parts of yourself that are still attached to the old ways. There are temptations, struggles, and moments of doubt. The flesh longs for what’s familiar, what’s comfortable. But, your relationship with God requires daily sacrifice and a conscious decision to crucify those desires daily in order to grow and live fully in the Spirit. [all of Galatians 5 specifically 5:16, & 24-25, Romans 8:13] This battle can sometimes feel exhausting or disheartening, but it’s in these moments that the grace of Jesus shines brightest. You learn to rely not on your own strength, but on His. [Proverbs 3:5-6] To REST: Release, Every, Situation, to The Lord. [Pslam 91]

There’s also something incredibly powerful in this process. The more you die to the flesh, the more you come alive in Christ. [Galatians 5:24-25, Romans 8:13, Philippians 1:21] The intimacy that grows between you and Jesus during these times becomes a wellspring of peace, joy, and purpose that surpasses the fleeting things the world has to offer. The loneliness becomes a holy solitude—a place where you are never truly alone, for He is always with you, drawing you deeper into His heart. It is a posture of yielding. [James 4:8]

The more spiritually mature you become, the more you begin to see life through a lens of compassion, understanding, and acceptance. You develop a deeper understanding to your true identity and to others, realizing that all experiences—whether positive or challenging—are all apart of this journey called life. Your sense of judgment towards others tends to be soften, and you become more open to differences life may bring, embracing each encounter you face with grace. [Philippians 4:5, 1 Peter 3:4, Hebrews 4:16, James 4:6] With spiritual maturity, you also cultivate patience and humility, recognizing that growth is a continuous process and that everyone is on their own path. [*The Bible teaches that humility is a virtue that leads to wisdom, while pride leads to disgrace. Humble people are led by God and are taught his way.* Proverbs 11:2, Proverbs 18:12, Proverbs 22:4, Philippians 2:3, Colossians 3:12] You may find a sense of peace that isn’t easily shaken by external circumstances, as you learn to center yourself in the present moment and at the feet of the Father. Essentially, spiritual maturity leads to a deeper sense of wholeness and purpose, aligning your mind, body, and soul with truth and love. [Genesis 2:7, Matthew 5:8, Leviticus 11:44, Ephesians 4:15]

I want to share a quick story. My best-friend and I were at a coffee shop downtown when we started to see cameras, lights, suitcases, head set mics, and tons people walk in this coffee shop. We looked at each other likeeee what is about to happen. Then, one of the team members come up to us and asked if they could get our signature and content to be filmed for this reality TV show. I was even more confused at this point because for this to be “reality TV” it sure was fake. The tables and chairs got moved all around, the plants and shelves got moved around, the girl baristas who normally wear normal comfy clothes were wearing all black and full faces of makeup, there were lights set up, and certain angels they were getting to eliminate things. NOTHING WAS REAL!!!! I looked my my best-friend and said oh I have a blog in mind lol.

Point is, is that expectation vs. reality is a real thing. Just because it looks as though one may have it all together, you don’t know their story. As stated previously, everyone is on different paths, going different paces, experiencing different things. Don’t allow judgment, confusion, or comparison creep into your mind. The enemy’s tactic is to steal, kill, and destroy. YETTTTT!!!! The enemy has no power nor authority. Don’t give him your mind to play with.

BE ENCOURAGED FAMILY- DON’T GIVE UP AND DON’T COMPARE!