originally victoria — unfiltered blog

I feel like the month of February has a different expectation of the word Love, especially on the 14th day… As we all know this month is pretty much based off of Valentine’s day. The holiday dedicated to couples who show appreciation to their sweet significant other. Being single on Valentine’s day in today’s culture is tough. As people posts their SO’s and you’re scrolling through them, you begin to have those thoughts that run through your head of not being good enough, or if I only did this, or feeling like you’re alone or like God forgot about you, or even the statement of “am I gonna be single the rest of my life?” First, be careful that this expectation from the world doesn’t lead you down a crooked path. Social media looks reallllll good and pretty until…. You don’t know what’s going on behind closed doors so don’t wish for something you know nothing about. Be aware of these attractions that can become distractions. Second, loneliness only gets fixed when you get to know the aroma of God and you get so lost in God’s presence that the other person has to find God to find you.

As believers, I think it can be easy for us to feel like being single is a way of God punishing us for not doing enough to deserve someone’s Love. I want to say that is NOT TRUE, but a lie from the enemy. Being single in the Kingdom of God is a season of INTIMACY with the Father! This is a GOOD thing! Now, yes, this is so much easier said than done BUT I can testify to this. As someone who has recently gone through a breakup, you 100% have those hard days maybe even weeks of hurt and pain. It sucks, I know. I felt like my chest was literally caving in and I couldn’t breathe. I had many days and nights of feeling like this. I had so many thoughts running through my brain. I caused myself to have anxiety [intense + excessive worry and fear about a situation… fear should have no grip over your life], something I rarely have. I even began to question God. How dare I question my God? Are His plans not greater than mine? Is His timing not perfect? I had to take Victoria fully out of the picture and add God fully to it. I had to surrender it ALL. I had + still have to TRUST HIM FAITHFULLY! So, yes, I understand the thoughts, emotions, feelings, pain, and hurt, but I also know you can’t heal from something you’re still entertaining and holding onto. Especially when God told you to release it. Going back to look at old pictures and reminiscing fun memories is cool and all, but you’re causing yourself more grief and self abusement. TRUST ME… Looking back now, yes, the pain was real and deep, but because I believed so many lies of the enemy, I began to think less of myself. I had to forgive myself for thinking so unworthy of my character. I began to put myself under the bus. So unhealthy + toxic. Side note from observation, not experience: If you’re putting yourself through the ringer and the person you broke up with or the person who broke up with you isn’t phased. Wash your face, freshen up, and get back out there on your feet. Period. Yes, it’s okay to care and allow yourself to have emotion, but don’t draw it out. God’s got you!!!!

1 Corinthians 7 talks about instruction on marriage and relationships. Paul mentions that he wished everyone were to remain pure and totally devoted to God just as he was, and to count it as a gift to be single. So even if you didn’t get the big teddy bear or the box of chocolate, consider it you have the gift of singleness.

Praise God in the hallway for the door shut while you wait for the next to open. This past year the Lord taught me so much about showing the true Love of Jesus Christ to others + RETURNING TO OUR FIRST LOVE!!!! This season of singleness is not to be wasted on trying to have a relationship status. We don’t have time to focus on a status quote or to fit the mold of culture telling us we’re lame if we’re single. JESUS IS COMING BACK READY OR NOT, + as for me, I am 100% devoted to being ready for my heavenly groom!!!! Being single is valuable time sat aside that most people take for granted out of their frustration of being single. This time was given to us to spiritually mature us and get to know Jesus on an intimate level as He shows us what TRUE Love is and what it should LOOK like. Being single allows you to live your life completely consecrated to God without any distractions or obligations that could hold you back from furthering the Kingdom.

The power of being single is that you’re always ready for what God calls you to. Adam had a life before Eve. Do not go looking for someone to complete you. Become who God has called you to be first- two whole people coming together, BOTH BEING COMMITTED TO LIVING A SACRIFICIAL + SUBMITTED LIFE TO GOD BEFOREHAND. Find YOURSELF + become who God has called you to be, then God will bring your helpmate.

YOUR LIFE IN THE KINGDOM IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN TRYING TO RUSH INTO WHAT FLESH WANTS!!! Trust Gods timing. Everything happens in Gods timing, you can’t rush His timing. His plan is better than ours, so is His timing! God wants to give us the desires of our hearts, but what makes you think God will give you a significant other if you can’t even prioritize a relationship with Him? Allow God into your life and make HIM the center and the priority!